We found out that I was pregnant with Brylee when Brayden was 6 months old. Brayden had just gotten over pneumonia and back to back double ear infections. Later that month he had surgery to put tubes in both of his ears. He was a crawling machine! Already making us fight him when we were changing his diaper.
My first trimester I was sooo tired and sooo sick. I was miserable but it was managable because Brayden had started sleeping 12 hours at night. He started walking at 10 months old, right around the time I started showing it started getting difficult to keep up with him since he needed so much assistance with walking and fell down a lot. It just required me to get up and down a lot. The hardest part was my third trimester i was huge and had to get up and down off the floor several times a day. I also had to get Brayden in and out of the crib, my belly was a large obstacle. Brayden kicked my stomach all the time when i was changing his diaper. He also jumped on my lap too and would slap my belly. I hated it, I was so worried he was going to hurt Brylee but he didn’t know what he was doing.
There was an infant at his daycare and he wasn’t very mindful of her. One time he tried to step on her and one time he tried covering her mouth when she was crying. When i would hold her he would throw a fit. I was so worried that he would do the same with Brylee. I thought for sure that he would throw a fit every time i would hold Brylee. That was my biggest worry. I wasn’t worried about Labor and Delivery- been there, done that. I was worried that he would cry every time I held Brylee. That would be such a nightmare.
Boy did I worry for NOTHING! Brayden loved her from the moment he saw her. The day my children met each other is by far the best day of my life. The best feeling I’ve ever felt. My heart melted when he wanted to hold her and smiled so sweetly at her. So young but already understood that she was HIS sister.
Having 2 kids is hard but nobody said it would be easy. I chose to keep Brayden at home with me while I was on maternity leave. I had the flexibility to send him to daycare if i got overwhelmed. I sent him about 1-2 days a week for the first 4ish weeks just so I could get some sleep and at the end it was so he could get some socialization, mommy was boring.
Unlike the first time where i could sleep every time he slept like every one told me to, I have to be up every 2 hours at night with Brylee and then have to get up with Brayden in the morning. The first month was hard because I was so tired. Brylee had a raw butt rash so she was constantly uncomfortable making her restless and crying even if she peed. We both had to walk away from her a couple times because we had grown so frustrated and couldn’t make her stop crying 😦 We thought for sure that she was just colic and my doctor said it could be like that for months but it was too soon to tell if she was colic at that point. We were able to clear up her rash finally, what the doctor told us to do was not working. My friend was going through the same thing with her son but he was in the hospital so they gave him medicated diaper ointment that she shared with me. Finally something worked and my baby didn’t have to suffer any more!
Taking them out in public together? Uh no thank you. I’ll stick to keeping them at home where chaos is acceptable. But every day is getting better now that Brylee is a happy baby public trips won’t be so terrifying. I have not taking them both out by myself yet, I only go out Fri- Sun when I have Branden’s help. 2 adults vs. 2 babies is still very overwhelming at times. When I go back to work I will have to get them in and out of the car by myself and that scares me. I worked with Brayden while I was pregnant on getting out of the carseat by himself. I lean back and unbuckle him and taught him to slide out and walk to my side of the car where Brylee’s carseat is. That way he can walk to me and i can grab Brylee’s carseat and go, that’s my plan anyway. My biggest fear is going back to work – working on little sleep and rushing around with the kiddos, got to make supper, give baths, change diapers, have time to play with them- they are little time thieves.
Here are 6 things that I have discovered so far about having a second child:
- Your love for your second child might look different than it did for your first
- The overwhelming love that slammed into me when we hadBrayden was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I naively thought it would be exactly the same way the second time around. When I didn’t immediately feel that same overwelming bond with Brylee, I felt worried and guilty for the first month. I finally realized that this time I already knew what a mother’s love was like, so it didn’t take me by surprise like it did with Brayden. Just in the short time that Brylee has been with us I have come to realize the bond might feel different this time, but I will absolutely love my second baby as much as my first. Its just a different type of feeling,this is the best way that I can explain it.
- Seeing your two little ones together is a new level of incredible life moment that you could never have anticipated.
- Seeing the automatic adoration that Brylee has for her older sibling is so amazing. I had no idea how beautifully and automatically this happened. Also, watching Brayden fill the role of big brother is awesome, too. Brayden takes so much pleasure in helping Brylee from bringing me diapers and wipes to helping me feed Brylee her bottle. Oh, and when he has a tender moment with her – like hugs and kisses – it fills us with pure, unexplainable joy.
- Everything seems easier the second time around.
- It’s easier because we’ve probably already figured out our parenting philosophy and made decisions on big issues and found support groups and friends in the same situation. It’s also easier because we’ve done it before and we have an idea of what’s coming next and you have less time to overanalyze everything.
- All of the cliches about growing a second heart for your second child are true.
- I will tell you the honest truth- I wondered from the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test until the last moments of labor how I could possibly love another person as much as I love Brayden. He had become the center of my world and how could I possibly have two centers? My love for him was beyond definition, and I truly believed it would be impossible to love another child as much. I can’t tell you how wrong I was, and I think it is one of life’s most amazing surprises. I really do love Brylee with the same exact intensity AND I love her in an additional, very special way. ❤
- You can’t help but compare and contrast.
- I hate measuring children according to any set standard – whether it be the growth chart at the pediatrician or the baby milestones that everyone looks for. I see my two B’s as individuals and cherish every aspect of them. Still, we have many moments of deja vu with Brylee, and we can’t help but remember how things were the same or different with Brayden. These thoughts seem to naturally occur without judgment, its amazing. Regardless of the path your our babies take, we still think they are both the most perfect children in the world. I love that they are so alike yet so different!
- Chaos will be your normal
- Two babies crying at the same time? no problem. I can only take care of one kid at a time. I won’t lie though…I am a huge fan of multitasking! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat on the couch, indian style, Brylee laying on my legs, one hand holding the bottle in her mouth as she chugs away and the other hand is shoveling oatmeal into Brayden’s mouth. Using my chin to hold the bottle in Brylee’s mouth to get something for Brayden has become a daily thing. Most of the time I make it work by having Brayden “help” me. Having Brayden “help” me burp her or have him bring me a diaper and wipes for her really helps him not only feel included and important but it also helps ensure that he doesn’t get jealous of Brylee for getting more attention.
Overall, being a mama to two little ones is easier and more amazing and more intense than I ever could have imagined. I am sooo glad that we chose to have another one(although, I was totally not feeling that way a month ago, lol). It’s a beautiful road, and I feel blessed to be on this journey.